The other things

The Confederations Cup semi final berths have been decided. Tonight Portugal face Chile, and Germany take on a gritty Mexico. I don't think the line-up has any surprises - was anyone expecting them? 

I have a confession - I have barely watched the matches. Apart from the rather poor commentating, I just haven't felt the oooompfh (Does the Confederations Cup ever have ooompfh?) But this live video refereeing nonsense has certainly piqued my interest! Do I like it? I honestly have to answer a veritable, no.  It will probably take some time to get used to it, but the worst thing about it is that it takes away the flow of the game. And football is gorgeous because of the flow. I hope that in the world cup we don't have massive interruptions because of this new method. Sigh!

In other sporting news, Wimbledon is less than a week away and I begin to dream of being there to watch it live! Ah, the magic of Wimbledon.... can you just see the green surroundings, and the promising taste of strawberries and cream? I am going to wait for a few matches before I dive into supporting my favourites.... oooh, I so hope that it is a good tournament for them! And I can't wait to see how the women's draw plays out... 

Speaking of the women's draw reminds me that the women's cricket world cup is on going and I believe it is exciting - possibly more exciting than the just ended Champions trophy. Thus far: India, SA, England, Australia and NZ have all won games. I am likely to keep my eyes open on this one - I believe it is going to get more intense out there. But here is a comic moment for you - anyone notice the tautology?

Ends and Beginnings

What a sporting weekend! I am about this close (picture me pinching my fingers close together) to quitting watching sports all over again.

Let's start off with the Champions Trophy. As has been the case over the past, the teams I want to win matches are just being contrary. The Pakistan - England game for instance was not good for me. I wanted England to win - for no particular reason, except that I like the English team this season - again, for no particular reason. Or perhaps, it is their awesome uniform. Speaking of uniforms, apart from the New Zealand and English teams, all other cricket teams should consider revamping their very ugly uniforms. But I digress. Pakistan consistently improved with every match they played. Versus England, their batting and bowling was clinical. The Bangladesh - India game predictably went the way of the Indians. But I always felt that they should have won that game with more ease than they actually did.

With the semis settled, Sunday had the promise of an epic battle. Two arch cricket rivals facing off. The battle lines drawn, the two countries poised to fight it out again (pun maybe intended). My genetic make-up does not often lend me to support the Pakistan team in cricket - it just doesn't happen. The last time I supported the Pakistan team was when Wasim Akram was on it - ah, now that was a team worth supporting. Besides, I was inclined to go with the entire insensible bleeding blue tag line. It was pretty simple - I wanted the Indian team to win, and I was sure they would, provided they restricted Pakistan to around 250 runs. You can then understand my annoyance when Pakistan's Fakhar (all comments on his name will be politely avoided in this post) scored 114 runs. India was doomed. And then the indomitable Indian batting line up crumbled against an attacking and well thought out bowling performance by Pakistan. I turned off the TV when India was at 6 men down. I had no intention of being a grumpzilla because of a cricket match - I mean it is not even one of my favourite sports. After the Pakistan team lost their first match, their coach said something about how the manner in which they lost was unacceptable - well, kudos to the team for the fantastic turn around in the tournament. Teams have good days and bad days, of course, and I am not a crazy Indian fan who will spend the next few months criticising the team, but I will say this - fans have it a lot worse than the players! At least I was right on one note - I figured the finals would be a one-sided game: It was

In other news, the confederations cup started off without a bang - which is often the case with the confederations cup, isn't it? The Russia - New Zealand game was dull. Russia won it 2-0 and deserved to win, but there simply was no spark to the game. What is worse, the commentator for the match was, simply put, stodgy. I really hope he is not going to be commentating for the world cup. The Portugal - Mexico match was more promising. Again, I only watched glimpses of it, and this was certain, Portugal had better get their defence into order, or they are going to concede far too many goals! And can Christiano Ronaldo please share some style tips with certain other sportsmen! Please, Christiano? I wish I had watched the Cameron-Chile game, but like I said at the beginning of this post, I was very close to hibernating from sports again. The score card for this game was somewhat predictable. The Chileans took the game 2-0. I am unconvinced about the prowess of the Cameron team - however, I will hold judgement until I watch them play. For now, here is to an exciting rest of the week as I thank my lucky stars that the curse of the confederations cup won't affect my favourite teams!

Ready, Set, Play

The last few weeks have been exciting in the world of sports, even for someone who has been on a strange sporting hiatus. The primary reason for the said hiatus is the fact that all the teams, and individuals I support have been suffering from a sad case of loosing.

It has however been a satisfying few weeks, not because my favourites have suddenly started winning, but simply because the excitement and greatness of sports has caught up with me again.

Sports build character and discipline, and sports personalities within their capacities can really move you. Look at the epic moment when Francesco Totti retired: What a moment in the history of sports. I am not a die hard Roma fan, but I am a fan of the Italian National team, and Totti was a huge part of my football fan-shaping years! The sheer emotion around the stadium, and the world over, as Totti stepped off the football pitch for the last time was humbling, and moving.

Suddenly the sports world was calling to me again... and the Roland Garros was right in time to propel me on wards on this now unfamiliar path. Things started well for me in terms of my fandom in the men's draw, but it all came to a mighty crash near the tail end of the tournament. And then surprisingly, there was still a reason to watch - another historic moment, "La Decima," and the crowning of the king of kings of clay courts! Rafa's 10th French obviously came in style; the stats and figures are simply astounding! What a way to win as well - Rafa was ruthless and clinical, watching some of his matches was almost boring because of how one sided it was (and only because of that). Mad respect for his brilliance on clay - every stroke he hit was aimed at maiming any chance the opponent had at beating him!

And the grand slam women's singles was, truth be told, 100% more enticing than the men's draw. Without Serena's presence, there was a promise of an open, highly competitive playing field. And the favourites - statistically and historically, were dropping off like hot cakes. It is interesting that out of the top 10 players - only 2 made it to the semifinals. And it is telling that from the quarter finals on-wards, almost every match played was a three setter: 5 out of 7 to be precise. If we look at this further - 3 of those 5 three set games were played by the eventual winner Jelena Ostapenko, and the other 2 by the runner-up Halep. In the match ups to the final, watching the gritty, energy of these players promised a tantalising game - and it sure didn't disappoint. What a player Ostapenko is! If she keeps up this momentum, she is up for great things! Just watching her go after every ball was exhilarating, and refreshing! Even trailing down 0-3, you simply couldn't write her off! And more history was made of course - First Latvian grand slam finalist, one of the youngest players to win the French open - in fact, the youngest player in 20 years to win it! Astounding!

And then there was some F1, and cricket, and unexpected results! Plus there is a promise of more - Confederations cup, Wimbledon, Champions Trophy, US PGA.. at this rate, I might soon be out of hibernation!

On Higher Ground - Memories Of A Bike Ride Through Ladakh

When Will It End?

This last week has been a nightmare for many conservationists and nature lovers in Kenya. Apart from the now common announcements of illegal ivory being intercepted, and elephants being treated from spear attacks, we have had to face the full extent of a failing system.

Mohawk, a lion named for the shape of his mane, was killed. A day later we had the confirmed information that another lion, Lemek, was also killed. Furthermore, there is still no conclusive information on one (or two) other lions that have been suspected to have left the Nairobi National Park which was the home of both Mohawk & Lemek.

I feel a great amount of outrage and sadness over what is happening at the Nairobi National Park. Having lived in Nairobi all my life, I have grown up with this treasured natural space. The park is a haven of peace, tranquillity, and adventure. It is a place where one can simply soak in a tonne of knowledge about animals, and watch them as they gracefully live out their lives. 

But the park, which has been vulnerable to the burgeoning city on all its borders, is now perhaps on its last fight for survival. If we fail to wake up and save this park now, it will be gone forever, and all we will have left is a bitter sweet memory. I know that I am unwilling to be part of the generation that lost the park for the rest of humanity! 

Why would we want to save this park? If the simple reasons of preserving a natural haven, and fostering knowledge and preserving fauna and flora are not enough there are plenty others. 

The National Park is a unique selling point for our country. There is no other such park that can be found in the entire world within a city. Please take a minute to read that again. We often say this with pride, but do not give it enough emphasis. Here is some perspective: The total land area of the earth is approximately 148,940,000 km2 . The Nairobi National park is approximately 117 square kilometres. As Kenyans, we have saved that tiny little piece of land to preserve our natural habitat. And this tiny little piece of land attracts people from across the globe because of its dynamics. 

The National Park is also the site of a prolific historic event – the burning of ivory. July 19th, 1989, Kenya burned 12000 kilograms of stock pile ivory, at the park, to ensure that it could never be sold, and to ensure that the demand for ivory would not grow. True, we are still grappling with poaching, but the National Park is symbolic and plays a significant role in declaring Kenya as a country that values its wildlife. For years, Kenya has been a household name in the realm of positive and successful conservation. Sadly, we are quickly losing that reputation. Too many historic and conservation areas are being compromised in the name of development (that is just a cover for impunity) 

Tourism contributes a significant amount to Kenya’s GDP. Let me iterate: A pretty large portion of our National GDP comes from visits to our National parks and reserves, beaches, mountains and historic sites. The Nairobi National Park has and continues to be one of the most popular tourist attractions in the country. That is a bottom line: If they go, so does a significant amount of the country’s income. Many would argue that with development and greater business opportunities, any deficit can be balanced. I am not an economist, but I do have enough common sense to realise that this is a ludicrous argument. Currently, Kenya is losing out to neighbouring countries, not only in the tourism industry but in other businesses as well. Again, impunity, security concerns, and the difficulty in doing setting up business in Kenya have contributed to the same. To me the risk of visiting a place, time and time again, and enjoying what it has to offer, is smaller than the risk of establishing a big business that could collapse. Do I believe that we can still have investment in the country? Yes, I do. I believe in Kenya, and I believe Nairobi is one of the grandest cities in the world. However, do I think it is enough to ignore the money brought in by tourism? Hell, no. And why should we want that to be the case, anyway? It is our service industry and great tourist attractions that makes us such a special country, and a special people!

As humans we have a responsibility to live in harmony with the world around us. But we seem to be under the impression that we need to be the only species left on the planet. We are also ignoring the fact that it is very unlikely that we will survive a world with no natural resources and no other participants in the food cycle. We are going to be the first species that is destroying itself. We need to change this, and change it fast. 

The Nairobi National Park is the perfect place to start. It is the perfect embodiment of coexistence. We must save this park at all costs. If we don’t we are saying that we do not value life. 

In the last decade the threat to the park has increased many folds. In 2012, a growing number of human-wildlife conflict led to 6 lions from the park being killed. As a regular visitor to the park the consequences of this killing was apparent: lion sightings reduced, people visiting the park often left disappointed, and for many months Nairobi National Park had dipped into a not very exciting zone. 

But then, the park and the animals in it recovered. More and more people were getting familiar with the park animals, particularly the lions. They had names and identities. Slowly they became friends. If you visited the park, the possibility that you could identify some of the lions was exciting and personal. With the growing availability of social media, the lives of these beautiful cats become a part of our day to day living. I was more likely to know what Mohawk was doing on a particular day than knowing what some of my human friends were doing. As my understanding of the lions grew, I also came to have a deep respect for these lions and their ability to survive: The bypass was being constructed and was taking over much of their park; migratory paths were blocked off, restricting movement and prey. But these cats survived, matured, and had brilliant stories to share. 

Human wildlife conflict is unfair on wildlife. We always approach the situation with the human aspect taking priority. If someone’s cattle are attacked, we compensate the owner. But, if a lion is killed, why don’t we compensate by giving them more space? If a human is attacked by an animal, there is an immediate concern and care for the human – again there are compensations, bills, empathy. If an animal is killed by man, there is sadness for a few and nothing more. The odds are against the animal. What gives us the right to decide that a human life has priority over a wild animal’s? What makes this divide even worse is the fact that a lion (or other wild animal) really doesn’t attack out of spite or a need to kill. It is simply being itself – and either defending itself from danger or doing what it instinctively knows. With a few exceptions wild animals only attack when threatened or extremely hungry. If we assume that as humans we kill these animals to safeguard ourselves, we are essentially saying we are incapable of superior thought and action – We should then be savages, and not tearing after development because we are incapable of anything but instinct. 

Sadly though, it is rarely the case that a wild animal is killed by man as an instinctive action. It is as deliberate as murder. It is a selfish, self-glorifying, and short sighted act that will cost us dearly. We have people who hunt animals in the name of conservation, but in reality this is a thrill seeking hobby. In other cases we have people who hunt animals and kill them because they think it displays bravery. Then, there are those who do it because they are protecting their own. How mistaken are each of these acts?

There are approximately 20,000 lions left on the planet. In 2013, at least 600 legal lion trophies originated in Africa. Add the number of illegal and uncounted lion deaths, and we could easily be talking of 1000 dead lions in a year. What does this mean? This means, that should the trend continue, we could be in a world without lions in 20 years or so. I might be overstating the case here, but with the way the human race is annihilating the world’s resources, it really isn’t shocking! 

For someone like me – a lion-free world is one that I don’t want to live in. And with the above statistics in my mind it is imperative that the pattern changes – every lion counts! And that is one of the main reasons that I am horrified and absolutely disgusted that we have lost two lions in a span of 48 hours! 

Let us start with the murder of Mohawk. Yes, it was murder – cold blooded murder. KWS botched this one up big time. To be honest, I have always been proud of KWS and have applauded many of their conservation efforts. Sometimes, I have overlooked the times when they have had to make compromises – for the greater good, or so I believed! I still applaud them for their efforts.

However, I think KWS has failed themselves, Kenyans, the world at large, and me, where the Nairobi National Park and particularly Mohawk is concerned. 

They failed themselves because when they shot Mohawk they failed to live up to their mandate. Their primary concern should have been Mohawk. End of story. They should have done everything possible to ensure that he was secured and the explanations from KWS on their decisive act to shoot Mohawk are becoming more ridiculous, minute by minute.

They failed Kenyans because they did not protect our interests. There was nothing to suggest that Mohawk would have gone a killing spree. Even if he had, it would have been as a result of a mess up that the people and KWS created – by crowding and hounding him. They failed Kenyans even more by not accepting the fact that they made a mistake! That for me was as low as they could go. 

They failed the world at large when they were unable to stand up for the National Park and demand in no uncertain terms that its area is unobstructed by any kind of development or intrusion. They failed the world by not addressing the situation of insecure fences, and lion escapes. They have failed the world over the last few years, over and over, by allowing impunity to take precedence over the safety of the park and all its creatures.

And they failed me, and other nature and animal lovers like me, when they shot Mohawk over and over again, because they killed a friend! They failed us because as residents and citizens of this country, they did not do their duty by me. I am unwilling to listen to excuses of lack of funding, or uncontrolled situations. This is not the first time a lion has strayed from a park, and this will not be the last… I can say confidently that this should have been handled better – we have seen it being done better. There was no excuse for this disgusting conclusion. I demand compensation on behalf of the lions that cannot speak! I call for immediate action and restoration of the park boundaries! This should be the priority on every single person’s mind! It is time we move beyond our narrow selfish wants – and really work for the greater good! 

The nightmare of course didn’t end with the murder of Mohawk. Again, witless humans decided that they would kill more lions. We lost Lemek – a two and a half year old male. If this was a two and a half year old human who was killed simply for revenge, the world would be up in arms! Did KWS fail again, by not heeding warnings? Did KWS fail again by not managing the situation? Yes, they did. But so have the people who killed that lion.

We claim to be progressing, and yet our greed and short sightedness blinds us so much we cannot save the bounty of our land! It disheartens me and I am often close to giving up the fight. But then I look into a lions eye, and I know I will never stop wanting to preserve a life for them!

Love Sense

"I didn't know. I couldn't tell."
"Why not? You always know - You have always been able to tell"
"Oh, but don't you see, I couldn't?"
"You should have!"
"Oh, but how could I make sense, when all I could do was love!"

Clouds

I understand the cloud. It's pure-white brightness, brimming in sunshine, swaying and gliding in fluffy delight. And in a moment it is brooding - heavy, a pit full of black bursting into a torrential storm!

Sticky Date Pudding

"I'm sweet on you"
"I see."
"Is that all you are going to say?"
"No."
"I'm waiting..."
"Stick with me...."

The Tree's Lament

Preserve me:
I have the wisdom of years
Nurture me:
I am the essence of life
Honour me:
I am the will behind growth

Strong are my roots,
Robust my trunk,
flexible are my branches,
Numerous my leaves,
Delicate my flowers

I grant you shade,
I offer you sustenance,
I deliver you aesthetic rapture,
I give you life -

I watch as you tear down my kith and kin
And I cry for them; I cry for myself,
Mostly, I cry for you and the ignorance you display.

Nature's grace

Grant me this -
That I can wake up to the golden sun
as it kisses the blue skies;
That I can hear the wind's seducing whispers
as it caresses the dancing trees;
That I can see the besotted dew drop
resting rapturously on blushing petals;
That I can glorify in the beautiful night
as the silver moon embraces it's heart.

Park moments

As you drive into the Nairobi National Park (NNP) from the Main gate, the Hippo Pools is found at the far end of the park. We usually drive a full circuit of the park, and Hippo Pools is a regular pit stop. As you drive out of Hippo Pools, you can opt to go towards the Athi dam - further away from the main gate, or drive down to the East and Maasai gates and onwards, to the park forest and the Main gate.

If you drive towards Maasai gate, the road gets a bit hilly. There is one particular spot where the road dips and forks into a stunning plethora of acacias and a small riverine (one of the numerous seasonal rivers and tributaries within the park) flows across the road, adding the touch of perfection to the scene. The bridge over these, sometimes tiny, streams are tarmacked and fairly straight forward to drive over. The one at this spot, however, is a bit notorious because the "bridge - back to road" drop is uneven and shoddy.

This spot is one of those places where I, and I'm sure other park and wildlife enthusiasts, dream of sighting leopards, or something rare. It simply speaks of magic sightings: the perfect place for an animal. Oh, the visions I've seen there...But of course the places we seem to think are ideal for viewing animals are probably not that ideal, and merely the effects of our brains fantasising. The animals themselves seem to frown upon the "perfect" locations, and we usually end up sighting the more common impala, other grazers, or monkeys rather than what we expect - spectacular maybe, but not exactly singular.

Being the dreamers that we are, we persistently search deep and hard as we pass by our magic spots. What if we do chance upon a spotted creature, lurking in the acacias, or near the stream? What if there is a flap of a white and black fluffy tail hanging from a branch. What if? Oh, the possibilities!

And a few weeks ago, we had our what if moment.

It all began with our pursuit of happiness which in our case is the unmatchable pleasure of sighting some lions. The drive at the park was getting a bit frustrating for us as we are rarely satiated unless we have a visual of our beloved lions. Do not get me wrong we were thrilled to have seen 7 rhinos, 2 jackals, and numerous giraffe, zebra, impala and related folk. Yet, the lion sighting beckoned us.

We left Athi damn happy. We had seen a crocodile - it's snout peeking out of the waters - still and deceptive, zebras were traipsing gaily into the water, drinking up, and then walking away, three hippos frequently popped in and out of the water, as if unsure about whether they wanted to hide or not. We were also fortunate to see a number of white rhinos as we drove towards the Hippo Pools.

Once we arrived there, we heard a few reports of a big maned lion at number 29 and hastened to search for it. Our thorough search was fruitless and we proceeded again to number 6, and the lone tree areas - a haunt preferred, these days, by the park lions. Still no luck. Once again there were rumours of 2 lions at number 18 near some murram pits. Typical of insane park fanatics, we drove back to the other end of the park only to see two rhinos, definitely not lions, at the said pits.

Ever optimistic, or perhaps ever stubborn, we continued to journey towards the Hippo Pools, and onwards towards the cheetah gate where a fellow visitor had told us they had sighted, briefly, Athi (an identified and famous NNP lioness) and her cubs. It was another dry run for us and we didn't get to see Athi or her elusive cubs.

However, that drive will be etched in our memories forever - another one of those incredible wildlife moments that happen fleetingly, but are so vivid and unique they leave a glorious feeling of awe in your life.

On our way to find Athi, we drove towards the Hippo Pools and used the same route where we dream of sighting a leopard. And for a change we drove extra slowly over the bridge. In that precious moment, a movement caught my eye and I screamed, "Shalini! Crocodile!" And, there it was in the relatively shallow riverine, barely 5 metres away from us - a crocodile, snout and eyes visible, gliding away from the bridge as though we had surprised it into life. Oh, it was so thrilling! I could see its round, beady eyes looking at us warily, and then before we could click a photo or capture a video, the miracle crocodile had slunk into the depths of the brown water.

I can see it even now. What a rare sighting! The crocodiles we have seen at the park are usually at the Hippo pools, Athi river, or at the dams. This visual led to so many questions - why was this crocodile here? How did it get here? Why was it brownish? What would happen when the water dried up? Were the unaware grazers around us aware of the danger lurking so close? How wonderful! How exciting!

Words, love & dreams

For my muse, Harish Kavirajan and my inspiration, heroine & sister, Shalini Srivatsan

If you are the moon, then I am that imperfect impression nested in the heart of your golden-silver light. Together we create a faultless moon glade

There was a firm, but gentle wind: A zephyr where I carefully planted my dreams, and watched as the wind glided away. Skies beyond, the wind slowed down at your door, and the wind chimes tinkled in delight as you opened the doors, and let my dreams flower at your side.

Your love is like the snow on a mountain top, melting into life when you kiss my warm lips.
Your love is like a summer breeze settling under the shade of a tree when your hand weaves into mine.
Your love is like autumn leaves, full of hues, filling my eyes with the colours of desire.
Your love is like the green of spring, wholesome and sweet, serenading me with sacred promises.

I wish I was the rain, so you would look at me with the dream filled eyes that gaze endlessly into the storm.

I'll smile today, and laugh heartily. And, if I cannot, then I will smile and laugh through you.

I would like to be loved the way the morning dew kisses the soft petals of a blossoming rose.

Your eyes mesmerise me. I look into their depths and see the missing pieces of my own heart.

When my hand rests against your heart, I feel my soul sing in it's every beat.
And when our lips meet, then, oh, I know I am complete.

A sister's hold is like none other. It will steady you forever and swathe you in love.
A sister's hold is like a protective seal of gentle perfection.
A sister's hold is an intimate conversation promising love, eternal.

I am the wind that flies with you as you ride into the sunset,
I am the sparkling river that bends with you towards the sunset,
I am the warmth lighting the road that you ride on,
I am the heart that stays with you, always, as you ride on

At the end of a long, tiring day, coming home is warm and reassuring. Finding you there - that is magic.

Weird....

I find myself inching away from living. It is, at times, a terrifying experience, but in the spaces between the scary moments, it is liberating.

When I am not bound by anxiety or panic, I love this feeling of obtuse indifference - like I am in the calm before the storm. And somehow, everyday more blandness and blankness pushes the storm farther and farther away.

It is an interesting experience, this: to not think, or feel. The downside is that I am walled up against experiencing the good things too. The upside, well now that is out of this world - like a caged animal on display that is sitting sedately in a corner of it's prison, unmoved by passers by - by their jibes, or by their awe. I carry on with life, unmoved and unfazed by the rashness or judgement of others

Love by choice

A few words inspired by a quote I read today!

It's about choice isn't it? Everything boils down to choice. No matter what I say or do, or don't say and don't do, choice is what matters. My choice lays the foundation for every further action, inaction, or next choice.

I choose to love you. And I am glad I have the ability to make that choice. I choose to love you despite the fact that many times, I am flummoxed by your choices; your decisions; your actions.

I choose to love you. I also chose to tell you how I feel. I chose to acknowledge that shunning you from my thoughts and feelings leaves me feeling incomplete and alone. I choose to share all my hopes and dreams and my trials and tribulations.

The best thing of course is that I choose to love you - time and time again

Bike hard, Bike far

I could hear it,
the sound was guttural - deep.

It was growing louder still,
The nuances of the biker's movements
Clear from the sounds

Again, I heard the throttle,
There was a distinct sound,
The rider would have carved
The bend in the road.

Then, there was a sudden pull,
I could see the beacons of yellow light
Illuminating the road ahead

And then, I could see it,
Rider and bike,
Twisting the wick,
Approaching at full throttle

A beatific beast
Powerful and sure.
Triumph - the name suited
both rider and bike.

It slowed down, next to me,
Eager to journey on,
I waved it off,
Watched as they rode into the sun,
Ready to move the soul

A place of escape

There is a scene in The Lion King, where Mufasa and Simba are overlooking a beautiful landscape. This scene has been used and misused world over to express a variety of emotions. To me, that view and looking at it is what my heart yearns for now, and time and time again.
There is a gentle breeze and my hair finds freedom in the wind. I breathe in freshness and a sense of life. I see the savannah grasslands for miles on end, lone trees scatter the land beyond, and even further - at the end of everything - the distinct, crisp horizon.

It is a pleasant day. The African sun shines gently on my arms and then pleasantly moves behind the almost grey (is it almost white?) clouds. It is weather that appeals - not hot and stark, not cold and bereft, but just pleasant.

There is a wholesome quietness around me. It awakens my senses. I can smell the rain soaked mud from yonder. I see the golden light fall between the shadows of the blades of dancing grass. I hear the lilting melodies of birds - some that I can see, some lost in the surrounding fauna. A stark vulnerability and humility exudes from me as I stand here alone - exposing my soul to the universe.

And then I see it. At first it is just an inconsequential movement. My eyes anticipate the flicker of a dark tail, my heart beat has picked up in excitement. Possibility is turning into a silhouette and has gradually formed an existence. She is beautiful: A graceful yellow matching the play of light on the wheat-like carpet of savannah. I can see her stride confidently, queen of camouflage; queen of the savannah; queen of everywhere. She lifts her head now and looks about her. The air brings her news of my presence. She turns slowly and sits back on her haunches. Her golden eyes scanning her surroundings, stopping at me for a few minutes, capturing my soul with her gaze and then she is gone: into the grass, and far beyond my sight: from lioness to a shadow, to movement, to a flickering, to quiet, and an imprinted memory.

Around me the wind blows on, the birds sing, things I cannot see live on. The sun plays with the clouds and I feel the tears pour down my face, cleansing the anguish in my heart, purging the daily worries in my mind. The cares have vanished with my tears, and laughter gurgles out of me. I smile, content. This is my moment of peace and acceptance. It is my place of complete escape.

A Magical Friend

We had the strangest feeling as we looked to the North. It was as if the whole forest was moving and coming towards us. Slowly, we could make out the comical figure of a harried man, with a top hat befitting a wizard, running in front of the blackness, dashing madly as if death itself was behind him. A minute later we spied the sprightly shadow of a cat and it was soon evident that the magician was pursued not by an onerous monster, but a wee cat!

Winter Fairy and I were grappling with a fit of laughter as the man in a wizard hat dashed past us, into the comforting circle of trees that was doused in the golden light of sunset. Soon the cat, in it's black fur, and startling blue eyes was in front of us, paused as if considering something, and then stopped down.

Convinced that the cat was harmless, I approached her cautiously. She sat on her haunches, watching me with an air of confidence that belied the trembling fur on her body. She purred frightfully as I bent down and reached for her, but slowly snuggled into my arms.

For a few minutes I was paralysed and surprised that I did not throw her out of my hands in fright. This little cat had just spoken to me, as a human would. As if in a daze, I found myself listening to her tiny voice. She was not pursuing the wizard out of malice, but simply trying to explain to him that she was not some evil manifestation. She explained to us how one of the wizards experiments had given her speech. She had kept this a secret for ever so long and had finally taken a chance and spoken to the startled old man a few minutes earlier. I couldn't help smiling as she described how the wizard had burst out of his hut, running like the wind, stark fear evident in his every stride. I sobered down as I noticed the pearl sized tears filling the cats eyes.

I turned towards the trees where the wizard had taken refuge and I could see that he was listening to the cat's story. I made my way cautiously towards him, Winter fairy at my side, not wanting to frighten the quaint cat, or the fidgety wizard.

We were almost at arms length from him, when the wizard leapt out from behind his hiding place, and strode towards us mumbling and muttering, "That spell - always, always getting me into problems. Oh dear, oh dear. I shall never again alter it. But what a cat to give me a fright. A poor old wizard like me. And how they laughed. Oh, this cat." The rest of his soliloquy was obscure.

He was at our side now and he quickly took cat out of my arms and bowed down low to us. He continued walking towards the forest, holding cat gently, and muttering to her. I saw him look back once, a twinkle in his eye and a merry smile on his lips. And then he was lost in the dense greens of the forest.

I have learnt since then that the clumsy, comical wizard is more than that. He has a reputation of being one of the most powerful magicians of this land and beyond; perhaps of this time and beyond. Winter fairy narrates stories of great battles that have been won because of him. There is a desire now, deep in my heart, to meet the wizard and to be friends with him. I believe he will have the most interesting stories to tell. But more than that - I think of that twinkle in his eye and I know that we must be friends - I feel it in my bones. Winter fairy will have nothing to do with it and thinks I am unhinged. She says wizards are best left alone. I don't think so. I think the wizard and I will be the best of friends...

Today, I find myself walking into the Northern forest and approach a lopsided cottage. I am excited as I knock on the rickety door in front of me.

A familiar white hat and blue robe welcome me inside. Beyond at the tiny table laid out with scrumptious looking food is an old man.

"Welcome, child, " he lifted his goblet, "to happy times."

I walked in and gave him a hug. This was the start of a wonderful friendship"

Your love, my life.

You teach me to love what I know:
The was, is and what will always be.
You look at the things I know,
The things I have and treasure -
Brush it gently with colour
give it taste and flavour.
You let me love all that is mine.

You teach me to look deep within
And see the things I don't often see.
You show me beauty,
Outside of what I already know.
You show me that here and there,
now and later, old and new, can all come together.
You let me love all that can be.

You are my tree trunk with it's deep roots.
You are my branches dancing in the wind.
You are my eternal shade,
You are my hope for the sky.
You are who I am and all that I can be.

Why you should...

... spell my name the correct way.

For those of you who know me, you are well aware of the fact that my pet peeve (if it can be called that) is having my name spelled incorrectly. From when I was young, I have had people kill my name by pronouncing it in ridiculous ways. Whilst this is annoying, I often find myself understanding the difficulties associated with speaking foreign words. My sympathy, however, does not extend itself from phonetics to spelling.

It seems to me that people enjoy spelling my name wrong. And I can tell you here and now that that is the pinnacle of rubbish-like things to do. Why?

Well, let me tell you something. When I read my name spelt Shruti or Sruti or any thing that is not Shruthi- you have already dropped about 50 levels down into my moron - alert box. But being the nice person I am, I communicate and let you know that my name is spelt SHRUTHI. At this point I feel that anyone with half a brain will understand that I expect to be addressed correctly. Sadly, sense is really very uncommon, and many a times, I will have people communicate back and still use the incorrect spelling of my name.

Whoa! So, now you are not only at the bottom of my moron list, you have now told me you are a brainless git. Those who write to me in the professional sphere, and continually misspell my name - you have got to be kidding me! It tells me that you are a moron, with no brains, and no interest in actually paying attention to what you are doing, and what you are telling me. If I respond to you - it is simply me being professional. Kindly note that anything I do for you hence-forth is done because it has to be, and under duress... and as you continue misspelling my name, the number of curses you are accumulating grows at an alarming rate.

Then, there are the personal messages - from friends, uncles, aunts, cousins, acquaintances etcetera etcetera. So, I get all sorts of excuses - typos, default spell checker options, memory lapse, aggravation (aggravating me on purpose, that is) and bull shit and bull shit and more bull shit. So, there you have it. That is exactly what I am thinking. My reaction to you may vary - I may laugh it off, I may get mad, I may ignore it.... but remember the moron level always keeps note!

So let's do us all a favour and spell my name correctly - SHRUTHI!

Heart & Soul

What do you know of my heart,
Heart of my heart?
Do you know the unrelenting worries
that fill my mind, unseen by the world?
Do you know the assiduous doubts
that oft plague my heart?

What do you know of my heart,
dearest friend of my soul?
You see my smile and my tears,
but do you see deeper still?
You hear me dance and see me sing
but can you feel my pulse within?

Heart of my heart,
dearest friend of my soul,
Between the two of you,
there is me.
And yet, how distant you
strive to be!